Month: July 2014

The Decibels of Love

I (now) believe: Love is measured on a scale of magnitude, and that it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. Because every relationship – every encounter – is different. I believe you can love two people just as much, maybe even three, without your emotions for one devaluing your feelings for another, or making those seem any less real. Because what you experience with one person, the wealth and accumulation of all those little moments, may be a completely different experience from what you have with somebody else. I believe people fulfil you in different ways, open up different parts of you, make you aware of yourself – or all the different versions of your “self”. And sometimes it takes more than one person for you to realise that. I believe, so long as you love and you feel with the same amount of intensity and sincerity, it is completely possible to love many people at the same time. Love is love is love. Either it is there or …

Humans First, Titles Second

I believe: All conflict in this world happens because people stop treating each other like humans first, and titles second. This statement applies not just on a global scale with regards to political and military affairs but even on a day to day level when mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, friends, lovers, colleagues and strangers fight. One of my favourite words is the sanskrit or yogic “namaste”. Namaste means “the light (or the divine) in me, bows to the light (or the divine) in you”. I love this word because it so succinctly encapsulates how I feel about myself, about you, and about us all. We are the same thing, really. And by saying namaste I am letting you know that I recognise that, that I recognise you, and I recognise the “us” in all of “them”. After that, fine, you can start placing your titles and labels on people. That seems to be the way society and civilisation can operate. But don’t be naive to think that the name you place on people and things …

“But I love him/her so much!” – “Really? I think that’s bullshit.”

What I said was: I believe the best relationships are the ones where the two people involved treat each other as friends first, and lovers after. Why? Because don’t you find that when it comes down to our friends, we are so much more patient, so much more kind, so much more understanding… and forgiving? If our friend doesn’t pick up the phone, or call us back right away – do we batt an eyelid, throw a tantrum or give them the cold shoulder? No, not really. Unless, of course, there really is reason to and we have a genuine cause for concern (e.g. late night last night, a little inebriated, “just want to make sure she’s okay”). But even then we’d probably be worrying instead of accusing. When it comes to partners however, for some reason, we start to act a little selfish. Why is that? I think it’s because when we’re in a relationship, it really all comes down to fear. And an excessive amount of expectation placed on the other person to …